My son, Eric, is leaving for a year to study abroad in Santiago, Chile, in less than two weeks. He’s excited and a bit nervous. He’s nervous about being in a foreign city, far away from what he knows and is familiar with. He’s also excited about being in a foreign city, far away from what he knows and is familiar with. I’m thrilled for him, because I realize this will be an amazing experience that will stand out as a highlight and a turning point in his life. When I was slightly more than a year older than Eric I spent four months in Europe, and that experience helped shape the person I am and is in my awareness almost daily.
I want to use this space to introduce you to Eric and share some of my thoughts about him. We don’t share our thoughts about our children with other people often enough. We don’t honor and celebrate them by singing their praises and letting them know just how much they’ve added to our lives and to the world.
Eric Lee Uslander was born on October 28th, 1991 in Evanston, Illinois. It was a long labor, and he had a bit of a cone head when he finally arrived. No matter. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I was 29 at the time, having just finished my residency in Emergency Medicine. Sandy was 25, and was finishing her degree in Anthropology at Northwestern University. Eric was our first child, and was the first grandchild on both sides. Needless to say, his birth was a pretty important event in many peoples’ lives.
Eric spent his first two years living in Chicago. I recall walking the streets of Wrigleyville with him in a backpack, singing and laughing together as we wandered the neighborhood. My parents lived thirty minutes away and were a frequent presence in his life. His next three years were spent on Guam, close to his other grandparents. I recall many blissful hours on the beach there, and became familiar with a wonderful and different culture. A baby sister also entered his life during this period. When Eric was five and Carly was three, we moved to Sonora, a small town in Northern California, where we lived until Eric graduated from high school. We had a small town experience there, and got the benefits of living on a ranch, with horses, goats and chickens to care for and enjoy. Many great friendships developed there.
Eric just completed his sophomore year at UC Santa Barbara and will spend his junior year as a foreign exchange student at a private university in Santiago, Chile. He is a Global Studies major and at the moment his plan is to work in the non-profit arena in some capacity, bringing his experience and gifts to the people of the world who need and will benefit the most.
Now that you know a bit about Eric’s background, where he lived and what he’s doing, I’d like to share a bit about the person Eric Lee Uslander has become. As a write this, I realize that it could be construed as “bragging” when I discuss his attributes and his character. Please know that I take little credit for how any of my children have developed. I like to say that all I’ve done is “not screwed them up.” I firmly believe that as parents we can create the right atmosphere for our children’s true genius to unfold, but we shouldn’t take credit for how far they climb in life. On the other hand, we should take responsibility for creating significant challenges for them, and making life more difficult, by instilling fear and limitation in them through our words and our actions. In essence, I believe we just need to love and support them, and get out of their way.
Back to Eric.
Eric is one of the kindest, most caring, genuine and humble people I have ever met. In his 20 + years of life, I have never heard him say a negative thing about another person. He’s thoughtful, almost to the point of self-sacrifice. He loves to connect with other people, and shows respect for every person he engages with, whether they’re the president of a university or a homeless person asking for a handout. He views the world without judgment, and he is open to receiving guidance and feedback about everything. He’s humble in that way.
He’s also one of the most positive people I know. Life is his playground, and he spreads his enthusiasm naturally. Even his friends marvel at how positive Eric is, and they’ve shared with me how much he adds to their lives. (Try not beaming after hearing that about your child from the people who know him best.)
Eric spontaneously calls his grandparents on the phone to just chat with them, partly because he enjoys interacting with them, though I’m sure that a big part of his motivation is knowing how thrilled they are to hear from him spontaneously. For that I can forgive him forgetting an occasional birthday.
Eric now has a little brother, Levi, who idolizes him. Levi is five. Recently, Eric took a five hour train ride from Santa Barbara to San Diego to spend three full days with Levi so Sandy and I could attend a conference. How many twenty-year old boys will do that, and do it willingly, recognizing what a gift it is for them?
Eric is a sponge for knowledge and inspiration. As a Global Studies major he is being exposed to many different cultures and religions, which he’s taking in and growing from in many ways. He’s realistic about the issues facing the world, but such an optimist about what’s possible for people to achieve when they collaborate and bring their highest selves to the playing field.
I could go on (and on,) but in the interest in time and space I’ll stop here.
Watching, and being an integral part of, Eric’s journey has been one of the absolute highlights of my life. Just thinking about him inspires me, fills me up with love, and makes me hopeful for the future of humanity. If I need something to pick me up and give me a shot of positive emotion and energy, I can just think back to one of the beautiful images etched in my mind from his childhood, or picture his confident, enthusiastic face, and I’m filled up and feeling positive and inspired. That’s the effect he has on me, and, I imagine, on many other people as well.
I love you, Eric, and I’m so excited about your life and what will continue to unfold for you as you walk your path. I’m excited for the people whose lives you will touch along that path. It’s an honor to be your father and your friend.