Last week I had dinner with my good friend Hector. He’s been an ER doc even longer than I have. Hector actually hired me for my first ER job right out of residency. He was one of my earliest mentors, showing me early on how important it is to combine work with fun.
It was great reconnecting with Hector and getting caught up on some of the folks I worked with back in Chicago. It seems like a lifetime ago.
Toward the end of dinner Hector turned to me and asked the question he’d been wanting to ask since we first sat down.
“Okay” he said, “I just need to know, how does a guy go from being an ER doctor to…. well, to doing whatever it is that you’re doing now? Last I knew you were doing what the rest of us are doing—being an ER doc and trying to figure out how to survive a career in medicine. Now you’re coaching people about how to be happy and successful. That’s a big jump. Why are you doing it, and what qualifies you to do it?”
Interesting questions. And, I realized, very appropriate questions. I’m sure many other people have wondered the same things. I mean, I understand the path I’ve taken and it makes perfect sense to me (mostly), but I’m not the one I need to convince, right? It also needs to make sense to others if I want them to trust me enough to let me help them realize their goals and dreams.
At that moment I saw myself through Hector’s eyes and I realized that for many of the people I’m looking to reach (and who are looking for someone just like me to help them) there’s a gap that needs to be filled in. Things need to make sense before they’ll trust me.
What I’m doing in my career is a huge leap. A lot of people don’t understand why I would walk away from a lucrative and secure job as an ER doctor to venture into unknown territory and start a new career as a mentor, coach and consultant that offers no certainty and little security.
So with that understanding, in the interest of closing that gap and making sense of things, I created a brief summary of my transition from ER doctor, treating emergencies of the body, to professional coach and mentor, treating emergencies of the spirit. I’ll be sure to send it off to Hector, though by the time we finished dessert, I think he understood.
In the year 2000, back when the economy was soaring and before 9/11 rocked us at our collective core, my friend Darren developed a recurrence of Malignant Melanoma. He’d had a mole removed from his back several years before, and when he discovered the lump in his armpit, the cancer had already spread to his lungs and bones. After months of failed attempts at treatment, the disease progressed and it became brutally clear that he was not going to live much longer. He was 32 and had three boys, ages five, three and one.
Darren and his family asked if I could help him through the final stages of his illness. I’d never helped someone die before, other than as a doctor in the ER over the past ten years. This was a very different situation.
As Darren’s disease progressed, the tumors filled his lungs, ate away at his youthful body and wracked him with pain. I was with him and his family as often as I could be. Darren’s strength, grace and beautiful spirit touched me deeply, I felt like I was in the presence of an angel when I was with him. On September 14, 2001, three days after 9/11 rocked the world to its core, my friend Darren died– peacefully, valiantly, surrounded by his family and a few close friends.
Darren’s death was really the beginning of a new life for me. It wasn’t a dramatic or very clear new beginning, but there was a definite shift in my awareness and my perspective about life. Suddenly, I knew I was mortal and that I was going to die some day. And I had no idea when they day might be. As an ER doctor I’d been exposed to death many times, and understood that life (and death) can be random and tenuous, but now it really sank in. Perhaps it was the combination of Darren’s death and 9/11 happening so close together. However the universe conspired to effect a change in me, it worked.
A few months later, while sitting on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean near Big Sur, California, I had what I describe as an awakening, or an epiphany. It felt like a jolt of energy coursed through me and I had a very powerful moment of great clarity that left me with complete certainty that my path was changed and that I just needed to have faith and stay open to where the universe was guiding me. It was exciting and a little scary at the same time. Suddenly, I knew that I was capable of achieving whatever I set my sights on, as long as I was willing to do what it takes—to stretch myself and not just take the path of least resistance.
Fast forward exactly 10 years—almost to the day!
Here is a concise summary of what has occurred in my life since that day on the bluff. I have:
- started several medical practices and other health-related businesses to address unmet needs in our community;
- helped my wife obtain the franchise rights and open several Curves fitness clubs;
- developed a number of successful real estate projects;
- founded and participated in non-profit organizations;
- hosted a local radio show and written articles for a local magazine;
- partnered with my medical group and hospital to establish a series of new clinics and inpatient programs;
- been a consultant and advisory board member for a health-care start-up company;
- hired mentors and coaches and participated in amazing mastermind programs;
- been professionally trained as a Life Fulfillment Coach;
- coached doctors, professionals and entrepreneurs, helping them achieve more happiness, success and peace of mind in their lives;
- uncovered my Life Purpose which continues to guide me on this path to share my messages with a larger audience that is ready and receptive;
- moved my family to La Jolla, California, where I get to run on the beach and watch beautiful sunsets over the ocean several times a week, remembering that fateful day ten years ago that opened up a new awareness and so many new possibilities for me.
This is my story. I share it so others can see the scope of my experience and see what happens when you make the decision to stretch yourself. This may be nothing like the path you want to take. It’s my story. I’m the author, director and main character in this story, just like you are in yours. I’m going to do whatever I can in the time I have left to make my story a great one —a story that will be inspiring and have a positive impact on the world.
The current chapter I’m working on now is about helping others truly see that they have incredible opportunities and possibilities in their own lives, and encouraging them to really know themselves on a deep level and create lives that are aligned with their highest values and purpose.
I hope this makes it more clear how and why I’ve made this unconventional and dramatic shift in my life. My desire is to inspire you to consider how and why you’re doing what you are at this stage of the game, and make the decision to change the story if you’re not completely satisfied with the one your living now.
Remember that one day, and there’s no way to be sure about when that day will come, you’re going to die. Are you really living the best life you’re capable of ?